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最終更新日 : 2012/01/29 (Sun) 09:43
最終更新日 : 2012/01/29 (Sun) 09:43
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Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
I\'ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
It\'s dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that\'s successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
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Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
There\'s many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
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Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
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In the begining there was nothing and God said \'Let there be light\', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
If quantum physics doesn\'t confuse you then you don\'t understand it.
Computer dating is fine, if you\'re a computer.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
Don\'t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn\'t over until everyone gets their cookies.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
But at my back I always hear Time\'s winged chariot hurrying near.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I\'ll waste no time reading it.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
Fill what\'s empty, empty what\'s full, and scratch where it itches.
There\'s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn\'t.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
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Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they\'re eating sandwiches.
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
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Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
If women didn\'t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, \'Don\'t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?\' I said \'I didn\'t know there were any witnesses. Now I\'ll have to kill you too\'.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn\'t have an air force.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
I\'m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Don\'t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It\'s pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
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Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
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If you can\'t get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you\'d best teach it to dance.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
Hanlon\'s Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said \'I want a skip outside my house.\' He said \'I\'m not stopping you.\'
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
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To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
As the post said, \'Only God can make a tree,\' probably because it\'s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don\'t need to be done.
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A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
It\'s not the size of the dog in the fight, it\'s the size of the fight in the dog.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
Either he\'s dead or my watch has stopped.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
Yes, I\'m fat, but you\'re ugly and I can go on a diet.
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
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Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
Jesus may love you, but I think you\'re garbage wrapped in skin.
Hearing nuns\' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
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A man can\'t be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you\'re gonna get.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
I wouldn\'t mind dying - it\'s the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
War doesn\'t make boys men, it makes men dead.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
Minsky\'s Second Law: Don\'t just do something. Stand there.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
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I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
Either he\'s dead or my watch has stopped.
I\'ve had a wonderful time, but this wasn\'t it.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
I\'d stop eating chocolate, but I\'m no quitter.
I have an existential map; it has \'you are here\' written all over it.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
O\'Toole\'s Corollary of Finagle\'s Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
O\'Toole\'s Corollary of Finagle\'s Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
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If you are going through hell, keep going.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
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The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
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Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
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The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
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How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
Don\'t knock masturbation, it\'s sex with someone I love .
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Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
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If it weren\'t for electricity we\'d all be watching television by candlelight.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
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The internet is not something you just dump something on. It\'s not a truck. It\'s a series of tubes!
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn\'t cure.
I\'m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn\'t over until everyone gets their cookies.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
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The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
And God said, \'Let there be light\' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
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Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
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Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
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I Can\'t Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don\'t Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
Emulate your heros, but don\'t carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
It\'s not the size of the dog in the fight, it\'s the size of the fight in the dog.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, \'Where have I gone wrong?\' Then a voice says to me, \'This is going to take more than one night.\'
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Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
We don\'t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
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I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
In the begining there was nothing and God said \'Let there be light\', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
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If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
I\'ve had a wonderful time, but this wasn\'t it.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
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I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Minsky\'s Second Law: Don\'t just do something. Stand there.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
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Raymond\'s Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he\'d lie just to keep his hand in.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
It\'s the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
I\'m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let\'s start with typewriters.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don\'t need.
I Can\'t Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don\'t Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
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Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
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Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
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Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
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The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
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I\'d stop eating chocolate, but I\'m no quitter.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
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Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law\'s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
There\'s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you\'ve got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn\'t your biggest problem.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/20/(Fri) 08:43
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